Dawn

Saturday, 28 October 2006

It's now 6:15am. Been awake for the past hour. Quietly slipped out of the room shortly after Han finally clambered into bed after a hard night's work. Couldn't sleep.

I finally came out to the balcony for some fresh air. As suddenly as the haze appeared, it seems to have left the valley. The air is cool and crisp, allowing the stars to shine down on us once more. You can also see Genting's stream of lights, like tinsel, again. So pretty. It's one of those things best viewed (and appreciated) from a distance--I still don't really enjoy visiting Genting's concrete jungle itself. From here, safe in the cloak of night, it sits prettily on that hill far, far away.

It's a privilege to be able to enjoy all this. I only wish that I could share it with Han. He's been working almost ceaselessly on this project until he keeps graveyard shift hours...it can't be good, if this keeps up.

To dream of how things used to be years ago, when we would be up together in the wee hours of the morning exchanging our adolescent views on the world, and wishing that it would still happen now, would be foolish. We've grown so much since then. Turned out differently than expected.

I can't say that I'm unhappy...this is just a small thing, not even an issue really. I've just got to accept that life probably won't ever match one's ideals, and it would be unfair to ask of anyone to mold themselves to fit one's own designs. Life does have its nice surprises, which you wouldn't get to enjoy if you had everything turn out as you planned it I suppose.

For me that would be the baby. 🙂 Our little mystery. Sometimes frightening to think about the responsibility that comes with it, but it doesn't take away any of the joy of having a little person to nurture. And I believe that it's making us explore a very different part of ourselves. I know for a fact that I'll need a whole new reserve of patience. Every notion of self-sacrifice that I've ever had so far will most certainly pale in comparison with what is to come. My relationship with my own parents will probably also change, seeing that I'll know what it's like to be in their shoes.

The sun's sending up its breaths of orange and gold over the horizon now.

Dawn breaks. Another new day. Another chance for a fresh start.

3 Comments

#1Gravatar imagesm says:

hugs Michelle, touching and beautiful.

SM

#2Gravatar imagemiaow! says:

life is all about these lil twists and turns when we least expect it. you’ve got tonne’s of family and friends that are more than willing to help out with whatever you would ever need with the lil one, k? Including me (hehe i know my timing is sometimes a lil off, but really, if u need help, an sms is all you need to send)

mmmwah! baby bump pix? 😉

#3Gravatar imageMichelle says:

Sm: Thanks. 🙂

Miaow!: “Auntie Elviraaaaaaa!!” I can hear the shrieking in my head already. Thanks for the encouragement. No photos yet though, gotta ask Han to help take some.

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