Wednesday, 9 August 2006

Malaysians have to once again endure a few months' worth of visible, smoky air thanks to our Indonesian neighbours happily setting fires to their fields this time of the year. It's depressing to see gray instead of blue overhead. Maybe that has been getting to me lately, weighing down my moods and sapping what little energy I have left at the end of a working day.

So it was on Monday. I clambered into the car feeling absolutely deflated after a mediocre day at work, wilting at the prospect of having to prepare dinner. I whined, complained, pouted and leaned; Han, ever patient, took all of this in stride. Once we reached home, he walked over to the fridge, started verbally going through its contents and announced that it should be quite easy for me to whip up a nice dinner for us.

At first it was difficult to get going. I still carried the day's dirt on me, so I shed my work outfit and changed into comfy old house clothes. We kept the doors and windows shut, turned on the air conditioning and took a little time to relax.

As I started bringing out the salad leaves, tomatoes, the soup, and thinking what to do with them, things started to lighten up. All I could think of was that I was making dinner for someone who'd really appreciate it, and that made all the difference. Cooking seemed less and less like a chore (of course, it helped that Han offered to do the dishes after).

I busied myself with the laundry and ironing for the rest of the evening while Han was coding away to some trance tracks. It was a nice feeling, to sense that there's some sort of routine to fall back on. To me predictability equates to stability these days. Was I brain-dead by evening? Perhaps...but then again, I'm not used to working it that hard during the day. :p

All I'm trying to get at is that knowing why we do certain things can make a huge difference to how we approach them. In this case, I think it's safe to claim that love the only motivation to shake off the tendency to be a sloth, and that was pretty much all I needed to get going. It's a powerful thing, love.

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