My Utmost For His Highest (?)

Tuesday, 9 August 2005

It's now 4:16pm. I hurried through my lunch appointment and willed the trains to go faster so I wouldn't have to breathe too much of the fallout-like air outside, and arrived promptly at my office's HQ at 2pm to report for duty.

Only there wasn't much to do at all. Our tai-ka-jie (big sister) here is on medical leave, my other colleagues weren't sure what to teach me today and so I was told to just do my other work.

Great. My other work happens to be stored on in my PC at the other office. Bloomberg? Another colleague's using it for the rest of the day.

So I'm left to muck around on the internet to keep myself busy till 5pm when I'll be needed. It was then that I decided to go to RBC's homepage to read today's devotional. I hadn't done so in a long while. It would make me feel better about myself, yeah, it would...

It just highlights the sad state of my faith. I don't make time for God--I merely choose the most convenient slot I have available, e.g. when I'm on the train, when I'm idle at work or at home, etc. Church members have noticed that I've been absent from services in the past few weeks, as I voted to stay home to lounge about instead.

"I need to rest," I say, comforting myself, bolstering my guilt. "The week's been a long, tiring one..."

It's all bull crap, and God knows it. I don't like what I've ended up doing.

I found a quote somewhere on the RBC site:

"Never let your common sense become so prominent and forceful that it pushes the Son of God to one side. Common sense is a gift that God gave to our human nature— but common sense is not the gift of His Son. Supernatural sense is the gift of His Son, and we should never put our common sense on the throne. The Son always recognizes and identifies with the Father, but common sense has never yet done so and never will."
Oswald Chambers

Something I'll have to strive hard to remember and work out in my life. Pride is blinding.

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