Accepting My Wings

Tuesday, 22 March 2005

I'm taking a break from the mindless data-entry I've been working on since yesterday. I look out the window at the far wall of my office, the choking hazy sky not offering much joy. A colleague calls out to check the spelling of 'stack' with me. Sighing to myself, I lean back into my chair and let my mind wander off the leash for a while.

My thoughts come back to the realization that in a month's time, Han and I will be moving out to our own pad. It'll be a watershed for the both of us.

Staying with my parents seemed like aeons ago, almost like a memory of something long past. These few months apart have helped the emotional wounds heal somewhat, but of course, more work needs to be done in the name of love. My parents still hurt. Their hurt affects me too.

Thinking back, I was desperate for freedom. To be allowed the time and space to discover who I am--God's handiwork. Right now I do feel that I was finally given my wings and I relish it--though it did come at a price.

Sometimes the weight of my decision seems unbearable, and the outcomes bleak. Tears flow together with the pain that rakes my heart when I see what has happened to the relationship I had with my parents. Things will never be the same.

What if I had made a mistake?

Yet God, ever merciful and full of grace, reminds me:

"Forget the former things,
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland."

Isaiah 43:18-19

He's in control! God doesn't simply patch things up--he starts afresh! Out of the depths of despair and hopelessness can stem the most wonderful of changes in a person.

So now I look at my wings once again.

Han and I have a whole new life to forge through. Together.

God help me use these wings as best as He intended for me to.


#1Gravatar imagekOtAk says:

“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.” -David Russell

Heya Michelle. Making hard decisions doesnt come easy, but I’m sure everything will work out in the end. It’s a wild, uncharted landscape out there. Take care!

#2Gravatar imageAndy Heong says:

May your wings lead you to where you want to go. Things may never be the same but at the end, you know the love is still there. All the hurt may get in the way but always remember the love.

#3Gravatar imageLincoln says:

God reveals His plans in His own time, when it is right… God isn’t slow, it’s us humans who are impatient. Faith is all about putting your trust in Him, and as His spirit lives in you, you’ll continue to love, honor and serve him, in which ever way He intends it to be.

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