Death Is Imminent

Friday, 23 October 2009

The past few hours have been hard.

I've been getting brief updates from my dad about my mom's deteriorating condition in Singapore General Hospital. Following a successful surgery called pleuraldysis to stop fluid accumulating around her lungs almost a week ago, several complications have cropped up.

First it was constipation from the high doses of morphine she was taking. That eventually cleared. Then came the stomach bloating, caused by fluid accumulation in the stomach cavity.

Now my mom is barely conscious in her morphine induced haze, with fluid filling up inside her lungs. And the latest update was that she was found to have high levels of potassium in her blood, which affects heart functions, even putting it at the risk of stopping altogether. The doctors have done what they can to stabilize her for the car trip home this evening.

Lionel, Shea Fee and Selamet are heading down to Singapore now.

At this point, I don't think anyone in the family is hoping for a miracle. The doctors have given her weeks to live, at best. I don't even know if my mom is aware of what's happening to her. Will she be conscious when she gets home?

Will we get to say goodbye?

I don't know when I'll be done crying, but I will be. I have to. I won't allow my mother to be remembered as a hollow shell lying in a hospital bed--but as someone who was truly 'alive' and left a legacy of warmth and encouragement to scores of people.

But for now, I am grateful for the space and solitude to let the tears flow.


#1Gravatar imageChristine says:

Dear Michelle,
I couldn’t help but emphatize with you because I kind of know what you’re going through. I experienced this with 2 of my aunts and an uncle. I nearly brought my wedding forward so that she could be at it but thank God that she still managed to be with us. I can only pray that God will strengthen you and have compassion on your and your family during this hour of pain. “Never will He leave you, never will He forsake you”. Take care and God bless!

#2Gravatar imagechiew hwa says:

Our prayers with you and your family. We are so glad to have been able to share dinner with your mum before we leave for australia. Our CG will akways be thankful to your dad and mum for coordinating and doing an excellent job on alpha marriage course.

Chiew hwa

#3Gravatar imageAnnette says:

Dear Michelle,

Though you may not knw me but I get to knw your mom, our dear aunty Beverly thru Alpha Marriage Course. I visited her sometimes in Apr at her home & we had a good chat over a cup of English tea & Japanese pancake. I am amazed by her faith & her love for the Lord’s work despite of her challenging condition.

Now, I only want to encourage you that our Lord knows what is best for your mom. I pray Psalm 63:1-8 over your mom. I believe she is calling upon our Lord and our Lord answers her.

I went thru similar difficult time when my dad was called home by the Lord 2 yrs ago. I pray that you find great comfort to knw that your mom has lived her life worthy of her calling. She is brave but gentle in spirit.

Be strong & dwell in the strength of our Lord. HE IS ABLE TO DO WHAT HE HAS PROMISED TO YOU & YOUR FAMILY !

Take care ..

#4Gravatar imagecarole foo says:

michelle, i’d just lost my mother-in-law to cancer last month i know how you feel right now – you need to be very strong;not only yourself, but your dad, your beautiful children and your family members. Take care & god bless …

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