Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Ever since the kids arrived in our lives I have had a lot taken out of me. I’ve visited extreme ends of emotional, spiritual and physical scales, not unusually within 12 hours of each polar opposite. I’m the skinniest I’ve ever been, and not in a particularly healthy way. The scariest, loudest, angriest, neediest.
But of course I’ve experienced previously unknown joy, confidence and contentment too. Now my aim is to steer myself towards being in a more positive state more of the time, for the benefit of others—and now, I realise and accept, for myself as well. Because it all starts with the man in the mirror, right?
So I want to loosen up a little. Compromise wherever I can answer “No” to the question, “Will this matter in 5 years’ time?” To remember to cherish and nourish my mind, body and spirit in the midst of caring for my family. It’s a challenge for me now, to recognise the fact that self-sacrifice does not equate to neglecting my own needs for the sake of fulfilling others’. And that it’s quite pointless as a mother/wife/daughter to play the part of a martyr.
As a friend who’s reading this, I ask you a favour: Can you hold me to my word? Remind me. Encourage me gently so I can reach this goal of being a more well-rounded and balanced person. You have my sincerest thanks.