Rejoining the Rat Race: T-4 Days

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

Brandon in his stroller I've heard of some mothers who couldn't wait to jump back into the working world once their maternity leave drew to a close. One friend of mine thought she could be a full time mother, then after 6 months she was itching to be in an office again. Some were perfectly contented (and financially able) to stay home and look after their kids full time.

In less than a week I'll be getting dressed and taking the train to work. It reminds me of what I imagined the first day of school would be like, when I was small. I was mostly excited, and a little scared of the new environment. Thinking of what I would be leaving behind at home.

I'll miss being able to catch his every squeal and gurgle and smile. Bathing him. Trimming his little nails. Watching him look back at me when he's feeding. I won't miss being cried at and not knowing how to soothe him though, but the frustration from that vanishes on the 'good' days--when he's more predictable. A little pressure of managing the household has been lifted since we had our Indonesian servant, Ratih, join us last Saturday. She's been a wonderful help in keeping our nest neat and tidy. Once I get back to work she'll be the one to tend to Brandon's needs. The idea of someone else looking after him takes quite some getting used to though, as Han and I have our own parenting style we'd like to stick to. We'll just have to make sure that she understands what should and shouldn't be done.

God knows I'd love to work from home, but the luxury is not mine to ask for at this stage (Han is actually quite able to do that but his company doesn't quite like the idea). Still, I can't say that I'm quite revved up to catch up with what's been going on at the company and set some small plans I have for my department into motion. Got a gut feeling that I'll need a lot of deep breathing to keep cool and calm, knowing the kind of pace my boss sets--not that I'm berating him for it of course, the company needs that kind of drive...it's just that I need to be mentally prepared to keep up.

Breathe in, breathe out...

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