This Guilty Feeling

Monday, 22 May 2006

I was supposed to go for a funeral service yesterday. I didn’t—at 5 minutes to 2pm Han and I were still at Ikea, prioritizing our purchases for the apartment. A quick glance at my PDA to check the time, then a split-second decision made not to head out to FBC.

And that was it.

I honestly did want to make it. I purposely woke earlier to try to get things going, so everything could be settled just after lunch. I even called my mom to tell her I was going. This family had just lost a father, husband and friend. I hadn’t caught up with them properly in years. It would have been a good gesture to go.

But I didn’t.

God, we trust that he is finally at rest with You. Now I ask that You’d give this family’s friends and relatives the wisdom and compassion to know how to help them deal with their bereavement and loss, and in the midst of all this pain, to still acknowledge your love and power over our lives.

And please show me what I can do about this guilt.

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