Mixed Feelings

Monday, 29 August 2005

"Children need models rather than critics" - Joseph Joubert (philosopher)

This morning's text message from my mom threatened to ruin an otherwise upbeat start to the week. Not that I'm trying to justify how I reacted, but she should know that children learn most things from their parents, even the bad stuff. I don't like how she's taken to chiding me via SMS quoting biblical verses--it grates on my nerves, how she elevates herself to being so 'righteous' in that manner. I'm not proud that I felt angry and retorted the way I did--it just felt like the best way to defend myself and retaliate to the way she prodded me with an insult. The fact that how I reacted is something that she herself would have done makes me feel even worse about myself (not that I'm inclined to apologise to her, of course. Why should I, when she was the one who blew things out of proportion?). How tempting it is to think that people should taste some of their own medicine!

In the end though, I'm not the one to have the final say and neither is she. We all forget, most of the time, that God is the one in charge and he will deal with us accordingly. In the meantime, I'll have to work on exercising grace. She is my mother after all, and worth the effort... but damn it, she's making it so difficult for not only myself, but for Lionel and Daddy too.

Maybe it's God's idea of a joke. I hope it is God's intention to make the 3 of us some of the most patient and long-suffering people in the world, given that we have this kind of person as a family member. I think the boys are doing a much better job of it, given that they're still living with her under the same roof. For me, I just don't like the person I become when she starts picking on me, so I just stay away from her.

I'm allergic to mom's temper, haha.

3 Comments

#1Gravatar imagekOtAk says:

your situation kinda reminds me of me & my mum. i like to blame it on the “middle child syndrome”, u know.. being the troubled child and all. sometimes tho, i’m quite surprised at how i’m so much like my mum in my actions. i was watching Oprah last nite & something about what that Bill Clinton said struck me “there comes a time when children realise that their parents aren’t perfect”. so true, eh?
patience is the key, no matter how much it hurts sometimes. i was in a difficult situation concerning my parents recently, so, i hope that u do ok. take care! *hugs*

#2Gravatar imageligeirim says:

Hmmm… indeed…. indeed…. I could probably write a whole blog about this topic, but things being the way they are (me lazy and all, no streamyx, lazy, etc.) I’ll probably pass this off as a comment and rant when my streamyx is finally up!

#3Gravatar imagea-nor-ni-mus says:

whatever it is, i still admire u for holding strong to ur faith despite what ur mom throws at u esp bible verses. some ppl might just run away from it. at least u can still see the lighter side of things and hv a laugh over it. kudos!

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